Alyssa Johnson

Transformation is a Practice

My EDGE Mentoring group is working through Seth Godin’s recent book on creativity, The Practice. As I reflect on our recent discussion, three quotes really jump out at me.  They speak to where I’m currently at in my growth as a leader and a human being.  I want to invite you into my journey a bit…

Godin defined flow as: “That moment when distractions fade away, when the narrative backs off and the chatter dies down, when we’re directly engaged with the work.”

  • The narrative and the chatter are so prevalent in my life.  It takes so much effort to tune them out.  I’m in that flow state most of the time when I’m working directly with clients.  Thoughts about me get turned off.  I’m fully focused on them.  My narrative and the internal critic’s chatter all but disappear in service to the work I know I’m called to.  
  • The narrative and the chatter are so prevalent in my life.  It takes so much effort to tune them out.  I’m in that flow state most of the time when I’m working directly with clients.  Thoughts about me get turned off.  I’m fully focused on them.  My narrative and the internal critic’s chatter all but disappear in service to the work I know I’m called to.  

“A lifetime of brainwashing has taught us that work is about measurable results, that failure is fatal and that we should be sure that a recipe is proven before we begin.  And so we bury our dreams.”

  • When I shared this quote, one of my mentees asked me what dreams I’ve buried.  It went from an intellectual discussion, to a gut punch in 2 seconds flat!  I immediately thought of my dream to play piano.  I stopped because I wasn’t getting the end result I wanted.  I lost joy in the sheer doing – the journey.  I wanted tangible expertise right away without the effort.  That pesky internal critic became loud, drowning out the fun.  How many other dreams have I buried for this same reason?
  • What about the things I’ve done that fall outside of measurable results or a proven recipe?  Things like falling in love, theatre, starting my own company, teaching group fitness classes, leading children’s worship, starting at Kairos, having children, and backcountry hiking.  These are some of my most life-giving activities. I wasn’t sure how any of them were going to turn out.  I didn’t have every detail planned and controlled.  There was just a desire and I took a risk rather than overthinking.  It was fun.  It was playful.  It was an adventure.  There was fear and there was courage.  There was effort and practice.  There was flow.  I want more of that in my life.  

“It’s time to start trusting yourself, trusting the process and trusting that you are actually as capable as you are.”

  • What gets in the way of trusting myself?  Why don’t I believe I’m capable or enough?  What evidence do I have for this?  None!  I am a fully functioning, independent adult!  I’ve been married to a wonderful man for nearly 27 years.  I have raised 2 kids who are incredible adults.  I have friends who love me.  I do good work in this world.  I have a strong relationship and allow myself to be led by my heavenly Father.  What more is there?!?   
  • I recently shared with a client:  “Our feelings follow our actions.”  Feelings can deceive us.  I may feel less than.  That doesn’t make it true.  What would happen if I chose to believe I am capable?  I am enough.  What if I trusted myself – based on all the evidence I have from nearly 48 years of living? 

I’m starting to recognize the downside of believing I have to look strong and like I’ve got it all together.  I’m learning that all of us have weak spots.  We just hide them differently.  It’s part of our humanity.  When we start to let the armor down and risk sharing what’s real, that’s the moment when true connection and true leadership can occur.  So, I’m shakily trying to find those places to risk.  

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