This is part 8 of a 10-part series on my 3-month sabbatical during the summer of 2024.  This series has two purposes— 1) to motivate and equip others to take a restorative break from work, and 2) to share insights I gained during my time away.  To start at the beginning of the series, go here.

Before I Came Back

My Kairos colleagues and I knew weeks before I left for sabbatical that it would be wise to have a deliberate plan for my re-entry and reintegration into the team.  I imagined it might be akin to a Marine returning from overseas deployment, reuniting with a spouse.  The reunion would likely be joyous and challenging, with plenty of readjusting to new (or old) rhythms, on both sides of the relationship.

Since I had cut off all contact with the team and with clients, I had no idea what I was walking into.  I was confident nothing had gone dramatically off the rails; otherwise “Sabbatical Gatekeeper” Rob would have reached out.  I had so many questions, but not much anxiety.  It just felt like the next step in a grand adventure.  I had been very ready to take a sabbatical, and after 3 months away, I also felt very ready to get back to work.  Not desperate or overeager, just ready.  The timing seemed ideal.

I wanted the team to have some idea of what kind of Chip they would encounter when I came back, so I crafted and sent this email 2 days before rejoining the team:

Team,

Thanks for your faithful stewardship of Kairos for the past 3 months.  I imagine you have each shouldered some predictably heavy loads (and some unpredictably heavy ones, too) this last quarter.  I’m indebted, and grateful that you supported me in taking this time away.  What a gift.  

I’m so looking forward to reconnecting on Tuesday (virtually, at least).

We’re all a little (or a lot) different than 3 months ago, and we’ll need to learn a new dance.  I have lots of patience and space for that.  I’m in an unusually curious and open head/heart/spirit space, and I plan to remain there as long as possible.

Let’s get to a new dance together slowly.  Keep going in whatever directions have seemed right to you.  I trust you.   My bias will be, “What have you been doing that’s working, and what decision would you make if I were still on sabbatical?”  I’m eager to observe what has changed— in you, in your thinking and insights, and in our approaches.  I want to learn.  Expect me to ask lots of curious questions, and it’s ok if you don’t have all the answers.  I just want to explore together.  I don’t want to accidentally crush any green shoots, so I’m going to try to be a careful researcher, tiptoeing and engaging in curious exploration.  I have some thoughts about the future, but I want to re-orient myself to the new Kairos you’ve built (to let it influence my thinking) before sharing any of my inchoate musings.  

My greatest hope for the next season is that you each maintain or gain a sense of empowerment, freedom of action, and trust from me.  I look forward to co-building a Kairos that reflects each of our unique personalities and gifts.  

Please, no response needed or desired right now.  I’m still on sabbatical after all.  🙂

No hurry and no pressure.  

Chip

I learned later that my team was feeling more anxious about my return than I was, such that this email was a welcome peek into my state of mind.

The New Dance

We agreed ahead of time that I should have time and space when I came back, in order to reorient, learn what had changed in my absence, and re-engage with clients and projects when I felt equipped and energized.

A few weeks after I returned, and I was fully re-engaged, it became clear that some of our old team habits and patterns would no longer serve us for the next phase of our work together.  

For example, in the PS (pre-sabbatical) era, everyone on the team was very concerned about “What will Chip think?” and eager to escape my irritable displeasure.  This, as you might surmise, led to slower execution, less innovation, less of an ownership culture, and more “asking for permission instead of forgiveness.”  I was 100% accountable for creating this culture.  I weighed in on everything, and I made it painful to disagree with me.  For me (as an Enneagram 8), conflict feels like intimacy.  For others, conflict with me often felt fruitless, or even relationally destructive.

In the AS era, we’re learning new moves.  I’m holding my tongue more, including waiting to be asked for my opinion.  I’m more careful to ensure others know when they own a decision, and I’m increasing my tolerance for them making whatever decision they want, even if it isn’t the decision I would have made.  My Karios teammates are learning to take the initiative more courageously, with or without my opinion, and learning to trust that I won’t pull the rug out from under them.  

It’s still a work in progress (maybe always will be), but our new dance moves feel healthier to all of us.

Summary

1. Take time and space when you return— reentry will have some surprises.
2. Some rhythms and processes will have evolved in your absence that are worth preserving— have a plan for capturing and preserving them.
3. The new dance may not be smooth, but it’s important for everyone to be aligned on what steps you’re trying to master together.

Next up: Part 9 – Leaving Space

If you have any thoughts on this topic, feel free to engage with it over on LinkedIn

Chip Neidigh is Founder and CEO at Kairos, where he and his colleagues help CEOs build elite executive teams.  Want to be notified when we post articles that invite a journey into more courageous and selfless leadership? Sign up for The Kairos Moment, our monthly(ish) email alert.