The longer I live, the more I see that leadership maturity involves ongoing cycles of disruption, deconstruction, and reintegration. We challenge what we know, examine our beliefs, and rebuild with intention. A crucial tool in the rebuilding: embracing paradox.
The most challenging part of embracing paradox for me is that it flies in the face of my desire for certainty.
When I find myself craving certainty, I remember this fable:
A grandfather and his grandson had one horse. One day, it ran away. “This is terrible!” the grandson said.
“We’ll see,” replied the grandfather.
The horse returned with another horse. “This is wonderful!” the grandson said.
“We’ll see.”
While training the new horse, the boy fell and broke his leg. “This is terrible!”
“We’ll see.”
Days later, an army came, conscripting young men—but not the injured boy. “This is wonderful!” The grandfather nodded.
“We’ll see.”
Breaking the Either-Or Trap
We unintentionally limit ourselves to binary thinking on a spectrum:
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- “I can be honest or kind.”
- “I can be in control or empower others.”
- “I can prioritize individuals or the collective.”
Wise leaders are continually growing in their ability to integrate seemingly opposite forces:
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- Honesty and kindness can coexist.
- Control and empowerment can balance.
- Stability and change can complement each other.
The Both-And Mindset
To shift from either-or to both-and thinking:
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- Notice Defaults: Where do you limit yourself?
- Challenge Binaries: Is there a third way?
- Embrace Flexibility: Adaptability is the birthplace of surprises and innovation
My Current Paradox
The paradox I’m wrestling with right now is competence and experimentation as I expand my professional skills. Anyone else? I’d love to hear what paradox you are working through and any insights you’re gaining.
